On a happier note...

Lest I forget to acknowledge the good things in my life, I'd like to take a moment and show off my adorable son. He never ceases to make me smile and make my heart happy... :)

Help...

Dear friends,
Most of you know that, two years ago, I suffered a molar pregnancy. Once you have experienced this cancer-like disease, you are at a higher risk for it to happen again. It is actually even possible to have one after you have finished a normal pregnancy. For this reason, a woman who has had a molar pregnancy has to be closely monitored for the first trimester of any subsequent pregnancy, and also must have her placenta sent to pathology after giving birth, and must have bloodwork done on weekly or biweekly basis after giving birth to make sure that her HcG levels return to zero, as they are supposed to (rising HcG levels are one of the symptoms of a molar pregnancy, as the disease mimics a normal pregnancy). I have been having these tests run for the last 11 weeks, and, however slowly, my HcG numbers have been going down. Unfortunately, today, my doctor's nurse called to tell me that my last test showed that my numbers have gone up - not by a lot - only from a 5 to an 8, but any increase is not normal, and therefore, not a good sign. She told me that because of this, I would need to meet with my gyno-oncologist (I was so hoping to never have to see her again...) to discuss my "options".

I am not going to lie and say that I am not truly terrified. Going through this before was a nightmare for me, and it has taken me almost the entire two years since then to really be able to put it behind me. This news today put me into hysterics, as the memories of all the doctors visits, bloodwork and chemotherapy, depression, and overwhelming worry and fear came rushing back to me. I know that this experience happened for a reason, and that it did make me a stronger person, but that does not mean that I want to go through it again.

My appointment is not for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have another blood test between now and then, and I am just praying and hoping and begging that, by some miracle, it shows a zero reading. I know that the odds of having a postpartum molar are not high, but I was on the wrong side of the odds over and over during my molar pregnancy, so I am not betting on those odds. I am trying to be more brave, more faithful than I was last time. I haven't done too well today - I have cried until my eyes burned at least twice already - but I will try to do better tomorrow. But I need your help. The first time I went through this, I kept it mostly to myself and felt terribly alone through the whole ordeal. A friend of mine scolded me when she found out. She couldn't believe that I hadn't told her - "Aren't I your friend?!" she asked. So, I am doing things differently this time. I am telling my friends, and I am asking, no, begging for your prayers on my behalf. I am going to try to put all my energy into having faith that I will not have to go through this hell again, that with enough prayers and faith from my friends and I, that I will get a miracle and my next lab reading will be normal and I can put this behind me for good. I know that this is not the worst thing that can happen to someone, but this disease truly terrifies me, and I just really need your support right now.

So please, help...

What am I going to DO?!!!

Okay, so here's the background - neither Maria nor Josephine ever liked to be swaddled once they were home from the hospital. Truth be told, I was never really good at it (I could never understand how those nurses got my baby wrapped up like a human burrito, with not once square inch of blanket out of place...), and they screamed and squirmed and fussed and fought like crazy every time I tried. They broke their way out of my pathetic attempts at swaddling in seconds, and I soon gave up on the idea. Fast forward a few years to Edward, and I saw quite early that he LOVED to be swaddled, and by the third baby, I had actually discovered the knack and the beauty of the swaddle.

That being said, I will admit that I was still a bit skeptical when my friend Christina (love you!)sent me a "Miracle Blanket" in the mail as a baby gift. I mean, I thought it was thoughtful and sweet of her, but the thing looked like a straightjacket-kind-of-contraption, and I secretly wondered what was so much better about this than a good old fashioned blanket. Here is how they look:

Well, she is a good friend and I felt like I would be a brat if I didn't even try it out, so I gave it a whirl one night...and that was the first night that Edward slept for more than two hours at a time. So I used it the next night, and the next, and the next...and thus began my love affair with the miracle blanket.

There were two separate occasions where I couldn't use it because it needed to be washed and wasn't ready for bedtime use, and his sleep habits were dramatically different. Instead of sleeping in 4-5 hour installments, he was back to waking up every two hours - yuck. On both occasions, I made sure he had his miracle blanket the next night and voila - he was sleeping great again. After the terrible sleeper that Josephine was, that was the thing that I was most nervous about when I was pregnant this time around - the baby's sleeping habits - and it makes me so happy that I was given something that helped me with this!

So, as you can see, I love, love, LOVE this blanket and would recommend it to anyone. I think the reason it works so great is that not only does it make it easy to swaddle your baby nice and tight, the way it's designed, they can't work their way out of it easily, which means that their little movements during the night don't wake them up.

Anyhow, so here's my dilemma, Edward is getting too big for it already!! It is supposed to be good to up to 14 weeks old (on average, I guess). He is 10 weeks old, and the last couple of nights, he has managed to work his way out of this thing, meaning that he is now waking more often - boo. Now, mind you, I don't blame the product. This kid is seriously strong for a 2 1/2 month old - we just went to the doctor's yesterday and he said that Eddie is doing things strength-wise that he doesn't expect to see until four months old. So yeah, woop-dee-doo, he's strong and blah blah blah, but what about my precious sleep?!! I knew that he would eventually outgrow the thing (they only sell one size), but I was thinking that I had a few more precious weeks with the thing. He seriously sleeps SO much better with it - the difference is amazing - and I'm not ready to give it up.
:(

Oh, and in case you are wondering, no I am not posting this on behalf of the company or to get any freebies (I had to add this, because I have been guilty of this in the past :), I just love this blanket and am so sad to think that I might not be benefitting from it any longer. Maybe I will take on ad adventure and try to make a bigger-sized one myself...

Sucky sucky sucky

You know what sucks? Getting your period at only 7 weeks postpartum. Especially when you are used to not getting it until 13 MONTHS postpartum (it's always been about six weeks after I stop nursing, in the past, anyways...)!!! Seriously, I am one very pissed off woman right now. That is supposed to be one of the perks of breastfeeding - no period to deal with. I am not supplementing at all, so seriously, there is no reason for this!!! WHAT the HECK?! I just really have issues with dealing with leeky boobs AND nasty period nonsense - ugh. Sorry for oversharing, but that's the risk you take when you read this blog. That's all for now - I will fume about this more on my own time...

Edward's Blessing

It's always a wonderful day when a baby is blessed...

Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe that I have THREE children!

Proud Parents :)

Oh man, I am just sooo in love with this sweet little boy...

The picture above is a face that he makes a lot - the furrowed brow, as if he is concentrating really hard - love it.

Oh, my Edward - I love you so...

New baby - bigger feet?!

Okay, warning, I am about to complain. I toughed my way through all the aches and pains of my third pregnancy, all the while having my eye on the prize - a beautiful healthy baby and bye bye to the physical discomforts of pregnancy. Well, one of my unfortunate side effects has decided to stick around - FOREVER. My feet have gotten bigger. I have heard of this happening to women as a result of pregnancy, but since I skated through two pregnancies without this side effect I thought I was safe. They got swollen a lot during this pregnancy, limiting my shoe choices to flip flops all summer long, but I figured - hey, no big deal, as soon as the baby's born, it will all go back to normal and I can go back to wearing my cute shoes. Well, they may not be swollen anymore, but I still can't wear my old shoes. Apparently, the extra weight gain this time around and the fact that I wore sandals all summer long, giving my feet ample room to s p r e a d was a deadly combination, and now my little feet aren't quite as little anymore. Besides the vanity factor (I like my little feet, thank you very much - they match my short frame quite well), there is the monetary issue (um, so I now to have replace my ENTIRE shoe wardrobe?!!!), not to mention the emotional one (I got a BEAUTIFUL pair of black patent leather Calvin Klein heels for Christmas last year that ran Lou over $90. I got to wear them for only one season, and will never fit them again...).

Am I stupid to be absolutely devastated over this? I have multiple pairs of shoes that I have gotten over the years as gifts from my husband and mother (who both know my love of cute shoes) that I absolutely adore (and that are, for the most part, quite pricey) that I can't wear anymore. I mean, what am I supposed to do with them - give them to the freaking salvation army? Um, no - I'm sorry, I refuse to donate $90 Calvin Klein shoes to the Good Will. And then there's the fact that I now have NO shoes to wear...if only I were rich I might think of this as a great excuse to go shopping. But I am NOT rich. That's why almost all my nice shoes are gifts from Chirstmas and Birthdays, because I could never just go out and get them on my own for no reason.

Okay, I know - I should stop complaining and just focus on my beautiful baby - he's healthy and perfect and...sigh - call me shallow, but seriously, I just can't stop mourning the loss of petite feet and all of my beautiful shoes... :(

What's old is new again

So we finally have some before and after pictures of our house...two years later...and of only one room...how sad. Oh well! The upcoming arrival of our baby gave us the kick in the butt that we needed to get one of the rooms done - TOTALLY DONE (not ALMOST done like every other room in our house)!! So here are the good ole' before and after pictures of Edward's room:

Don't you just love the Shrek Green? Ugh - we hated it, and it was even more offensive in person. And you can't tell from the picture, but I think the carpet was from the 80's or so. Nasty, musty shag with who-knows-what living in it...

Here is another before picture

Primed and ready to paint!

We did a total overhaul. We painted the walls, the ceiling, the window, the doorframe, the door, and the baseboards. We also replaced the nasty 80's musty shag carpeting that was in there.

I don't know that the pictures really do it justice, but this is just such a great, warm orangish butterscotch color that is bright but not overwhelming. I love it because it always looks sunny and happy in there - so warm and inviting... :)

Now to add furniture - we'll start with the Amish rocking chair that we bought at farmer's market when Maria was a baby...

Next we'll add our trusty crib and bedding set that is now being used for the third time - I'm glad we're getting our money's worth!! :)

You can really see here how low our ceilings are, especially in the two kids' room that have the sloped ceilings. It makes it tricky to arrange some of the furniture. But hey, we love our cozy little cottage-esque house, so it's all good.

The front view - kind of tight quarters!! But I think it turned out cute!

This dresser and the valence on the window are also hand-me-downs from the girls - it's so great to get so much mileage out of baby stuff, considering how much it costs.

So that's Edward's room - the only room in the house that is completely done, and I couldn't be more pleased with how it turned out. Isn't it amazing the huge difference that a little bit of new paint of carpet makes?

Happy Halloween!

This was kind of a weird fall for us. Eddie and I didn't go apple picking with the rest of the family (he was only four days old and it was freezing out), and we also weren't there when they picked out the pumpkins (which Lou paid outrageous prices for - grrrr...). Even more sad was the fact that our pumpkins rotted before we even got a chance to carve them because of all the rain this fall. :(

Another oddity was the fact that our ward, for the first time in EVER since I can remember, did not have a Trunk or Treat or ANY kind of Halloween party at all. I don't know what the reason was, I just know that there wasn't one, and it was a bummer.

Well, we found another source of festivities. Wegmans has a Halloween party/trick or treat for kids, so we took the girls there this year. There were a TON of kids there (a few hundred, at least), and it was really cute the way they had it set up - trick or treat stations all over the store (and all the employees wearing costumes), with donuts and cider and pizza along with all the regular candy stuff. Gotta love Wegmans. :)

Here are the girls at the Wegmans party - their costumes from Nana's costume supply (aka, my Mom's attic) hadn't been dug out yet, so they sported their hand-me-down princess dresses - it worked.

Here is Maria before heading off to to school the day before Halloween (the whole school has a costume parade and a party in their classroom) - she's supposed to be Tiger Lily from Peter Pan.

And here is Josephine in a costume that is quite fitting to her personality - a little devil... :)

...and here are the two of them right before heading off to trick or treat, which was a short trip indeed. Only ONE other house on the block had the lights on besides us - what a bunch of party poopers!!! Oh well, our friends the Johnsons were having a fun party at their house, so Lou took the girls out to their neighborhood and had them trick or treat out there (where they made out like little candy bandits) before going to the party. Eddie and I stayed home and handed out candy, since we are still trying to limit his exposure to tons of people (yes, I am a paranoid germiphobe right now...). It was a pretty quiet night - we only got about 25 trick or treaters.

It was kind of lame year in the fact that Lou, Eddie and I didn't dress up (the lack of a ward Halloween party kind of sucked all of the incentive out of me), but we figure we have a whole year to plan on making next Halloween better. :)

Oh, and for those of you who didn't see it on Facebook, click here to see our family's goofy Halloween video, inspired by some of our friends who shared theirs with us first - silly, but so fun to watch!

Sweet moments...

Maria and Josephine spend a lot of time fighting like two cats with their tails tied together nowadays, so I am loving that they are at least sweet to their new baby brother (give it a couple of years, and I'm sure the story will change...). I sing to Edward a lot, and Josephine, who loves singing, has gotten into it lately, too. I caught her this morning doing just that, and ran to get the video camera to capture it. These moments are the best, the moments when I am so glad that I am home with my children!

Adventures in cloth diapering...part II

A number of months back I blogged about possibly trying out some newer fancier cloth diapers. I was a bit hesitant because of the cost, but when I figured out how much I was spending in disposables for nighttime use (my cloth ones never kept dry all night), I realized that I might as well splurge and get some of the Grobaby cloth diapers I have been drooling over for months

Here is Edward modeling a pair of them:

Anyhow, so I have to admit that I still wasn't thrilled about the idea of using cloth diapers on the go (running errands, traveling, etc.), no matter how absorbant they are. There is just something about carrying around poopy diapers that isn't too appealing...

But, I also don't like the idea of piling up nasty disposables in the landfills that NEVER biodegrade just for my convenience sake, but again, the poopy diaper thing - ewww...

Well, I have seen a lot on facebook lately about these Bio Soakers made by Grobaby (click here to see the website and more info). I didn't pay much attention to them - I had already already bought my diapers, so whatever. Well, come to find out, they are these inserts that go right in your Grobaby cover that you can use, toss like a disposable, and they are BIODEGRADEABLE!! Sweet! All of the convenience of a disposable, but environmentally friendly.

Here is a picture of what the inserts look like:


And here is how they go inside the regular Grobaby shell that you use for your cloth diapers. There are little adhesive strips that stick them right to the shell (see the purple square in the drawing below):

They look like an everyday disposable, but, again, they are biodegradeable, and are also way more gentle on babies' butts since they are hypo-allergenic, fragrance free, dye free, plastic free and chlorine free.

Now, I have to tell you, by posting this info (which I am happy to share regardless) I am entering a chance to get an intro package of biosoakers (50 soakers and a Grobaby shell to use them in) for free. Shameless? Maybe, but I do love these diapers, and I would tell anyone who asked me - giveaway or not. And besides, who doesn't like freebies? :)

It's a...BOY?!!

Well, the all-girl trend in the DeGaetano family has been broken. On Thursday, October 8th, at 5:01pm, I gave birth to our very first baby boy!!

Edward William DeGaetano

8 pounds

19 1/2 inches long

Yes, that's right - my runt-sized self gave birth to an 8-pound baby, and I have the sore pelvis to prove it. :)

Here's me looking oh-so-hot right after he was born. I pushed so hard to get him out that I broke capillaries all over my face, neck, and shoulders. It's funny how you forget how painful labor and delivery is - well is it fresh in my mind now - excellent birth control, I would say. :)

Oh, if you could have seen Lou's face when he gave the official "It's a boy!" announcement. His eyes were as big as saucers, and he had this adorable grin on his face, just so full of joy, as if he was a kid going to Disneyworld for the first time!

I have a son! Oh, how weird is that!! Coming from all girls, the whole "boy" thing is still kind of surreal to me, but in an amazing, kind of wonderful way...

My Dad has a grandson!! He stays pretty demure about this things on the outside, but I know he is sooooo excited to have little boy in the family.


I know a lot of women can't wait to get home from the hospital, but I actually love my time there - lots of quiet time to bond with my newest angel...

...and speaking of angels - I just love this sweeet little face :)

All wrapped up - so far, he still loves to be swaddled (my girls hated it once they were a few days old)

Maria in all her glory - our little mama has a baby brother to pamper!

Josephine has this "Aha! I now have someone that I can push around hehehe..." look on her face.

Two sisters and a brother - I wonder which he will like to do more - go hunting with Daddy or having his nails painted by his sisters...

They are so in love with this guy - he will never lack for attention!

The "going-home" picture. We tried to get one with everyone looking happy (Josephine, Josephine), but you know how that goes...

And for those of you who want the labor story, here's the deal. At 3am on Thursday, I thought my water broke, but I wasn't sure. I had the tiniest trickle, and let's face it, at 9 months pregnant, it could have been my water or just lovely pregnancy incontinence, so I just decided to wait it out. I went back to bed and "slept" (do you ever really sleep when you are that pregnant?!) the rest of the night.

The following morning was business as usual - getting breakfast, getting Maria off to school, etc. I was having contractions, but very mild ones, and not with any particular regularity. I went about my day, doing things around the house, spending time wth Josephine. I had hints all day that I was in labor, but I guess I was in denial. I skipped my workout (which I NEVER do, and this should have been a huge hint to me that I was in labor), because I just didn't feel right. I skipped playgroup (which I also don't do) for the same reason. All day I had no appetite (another symptom of labor), but I still didn't think I was in labor. The contractions had some kick to them, but weren't regular enough for me to justify the nuisance of going to the hospital and all that.

I set Josephine up with a sing-a-long video and laid down to take a nap at about 2pm. No contractions the whole time. Them I woke up and started to get ready to get Maria and WHAMMO!!! Contractions 2 minutes apart and seriously intense. I went and got Maria, shuffling to and from her school while breathing through contractions, and went home. I don't know where my brain was, but I still did not call Lou (I think the pain was stopping my brain from functioning - haha). I got the girls a snack, helped Maria with her homework, having to work a bit more to concentrate through contractions. Right about the time that Maria said "Mommy, can you stop breathing like that, please? It's really distracting", reality hit me and I realized that HELLO - I was in LABOR!!!

I called my Mom to come get the girls, called Lou to come get me, and got the girls' bag packed. It only took them 5 mintues to get here, but the contractions became way worse in that time. I could barely walk, and couldn't talk through them at all. Lou drove like a maniac the whole way to the hospital, running multiple red lights and cursing the traffic backed up on 81 south (it was at a complete standstill) while I huffed and puffed my way through killer contractions paired with some AWFUL back labor. By the time I got to the hospital, I was at 9cm and in that phase of labor where the pain is so bad you think you might start climbing the walls. Within a short time of our arrival, I was at 10cm and ready to push - big time. My doctor wasn't there yet (stuck in the same traffic that we were), but the urge to push was completely overwhelming, and much to the resident's dismay (who kept saying "not yet, you can't push yet, you have to wait"), I started. The doctor came in moments later, and after about 30 minutes or so of intense pushing (hence the broken capillaries all over me, and other such side effects that I will spare you the details of...), our baby boy came into the world. There was a bit of a scary moment in there - when his head came out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, and Lou said that after it was cut, he turned purple, but he pinked up pretty quickly after that, and all was well.

So anyhow, there you have it. It's a good thing that I didn't put off calling Lou any longer, and that he ran all those red lights, or I probably would have ended up having our baby in my husband's truck. :)

We're all doing well here. The girls are overjoyed to have a baby in the house, and Lou is so thrilled to have a son - he is one proud papa, and it's the cutest thing! We feel so blessed that after everything that my body went through with the molar pregnancy, that we have been able to make another baby - it seems like such a miracle to me. :)

Approaching the finish line - I can do this, I can do this...

Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant and ready to pop:

As my pregnancy comes to a close (Yay!!), I find myself reflecting on the good, the bad and the ugly of being pregnant. I have thoroughly enjoyed the miracle of this pregnancy, but am ready for it to be over and to start the next chapter - meeting our new little one face to face.

Anyway, so here are my favorites and not-so-favorites of the journey that is pregnancy:

Likes:

• The way that people smile at you wherever you go, open doors for you, offer you their seat, etc. I don't know why, but people just LOVE a pregnant lady
• Sonograms - I love getting little peeks of the baby inside of me, moving around in his/her own little world. It just makes you feel so connected to him/her.
• Feeling the baby move for the first time (and in the months that follow) is just so magical. It's like this little secret that the two of you share. For example, you will be in the middle of a conversation or a class and the baby starts doing somersaults and no one knows but the two of you, like your own private connection that is just for your baby and you.
• How food tastes so GOOD! (well, the foods that don't turn you OFF, anyway). I don't know why, but for me, it seems like the flavor of lots of foods is amplified when I am pregnant, like my taste buds are exponentially more powerful, making lots of things even more yummy than usual!
• NOT finding out the gender ahead of time. I know, I know, you don't get to shop for blue or pink ahead of time, but I love having that anticipation the whole nine months. To me, finding out the sex ahead of time is like peeking at my Christmas presents early. And after the hell that labor is, it's really nice to have a fun little surprise waiting for me as a reward for all my hard work!
• When you pop - I love the cute little pregnant belly, when it's obvious that you are not just letting yourself go, but you are not yet so huge that you feel like a beached whale.
• Feeling like a rock star - When it comes right down to it, there is something really empowering about knowing that you are growing another person inside of you - it makes me really proud to be a woman and of all that my body can do!

Dislikes:

• Morning sickness - puking multiple times a day (stomach bile is the worst kind), feeling half dead, finding food abs0lutely repulsive (when even the sight of it is nauseating)...need I go on?
• The "fat" stage - when none of your "skinny" clothes fit right, and you don't look pregnant, just down right fat. You are bloated up like a whale and just feel so gross all the time - yuck.
• Gasiness - not much explanation needed here - nothing makes you feel less glamorous than letting one rip, over and over and over and over...
• Swelling - FAT FEET - EWWWW!!!
• Rude people - Why is it that when you are pregnant, it is suddenly okay for others to tell you that you are "huge", "enormous", "about to explode", etc. I have had people tell me these things with all three pregnancies (along with the ever-so-precious "are you sure you aren't having twins?" joke) and I still find it as annoying as ever. There have been many a time when someone overweight has said to me "you look about ready to deliver" (when I was months away), and I have been sooo tempted to retort - "Wow, so do you!" Of course, being the good christian woman that I am, I don't. :)
• Being handicapped - I take very good care of my body and am a very independent person, so the last stage of pregnancy (the stage in which I am currently) is really hard on my ego. All of the aches and pains (of which I have MANY this time around - much more so than the with my previous pregnancies), the huge belly that is so cumbersome, the grunting whenever I bend over, the inability to do the things I normally could (like lift really heavy things, be able to fit my kids on my lap...) and the general feeling of being exhausted ALL the time is very difficult for me emotionally and psychologically.
• Sleep issues - The part of pregnancy when you are now waking up EVERY hour to go pee, deal with back pain/pelvic pain (or in my current case hands going numb from carpal tunnel) and the general pregnancy insomnia.

Of course, you have to take the bad with the good in any situation. So, as uncomfortable and exhausted as I am now, and as much as I am so ready for this part to be over, I also feel extremely blessed that I have had this opportunity, for the third time, to grow one of Heavenly Father's precious spirits inside of me and welcome him/her into our family. What an amazing experience it is, and how lucky I am to have had it... :)