Beforewarned, I am going to rant just a tad.
Am I the only one, or do any of you notice that there are a whole lot of parents out there teaching their kids to have no accountibility for their behavior? It seems like a lot of moms and dads out there teach their kids, whether purposefully or inadvertantly, that they can do WHATEVER they want, and if something goes wrong, it's someone else's fault. Also, the lack of civility that adults demonstrate to one another nowadays is stunning. Don't these people realize that their kids are watching them, and learning from them how to interact with others? Sigh. So here's the story that prompted this post:
Last week, I was walking to Maria's school to pick her up from school. I had Josephine in the stroller, Edward on my front in the baby carrier, and Daisy (our little dog) on the leash. We were right across from her school, on the sidewalk, and had just come up to a section of sidewalk that just happens to have a large, overgrown hedge lining it (those sticks are sharp!). This makes the sidewalk shrink a bit, as you can imagine, as you try to not get your (or your childrens') eye poked out by the sharp protruding branches. Well, just as we are in this section of sidewalk, a mom and her two kids are walking toward us, heading to their car. The little girl jumps in front of my stroller. Of course I slow down as fast as I can (I am a fast walker) to avoid hitting her, just as her mom yells: "Jeez, don't HIT her! Why don't you watch where you're going?! It's bad enough how you drive around in that VAN of yours...", and walks away in a huff.
Now, this caught me totally off-guard. Was she actually talking to
me? I hadn't done anything wrong! Her daughter jumped in front of the stroller, and I slowed it down so that it didn't hit her. It's a narrow sidewalk at that point, and what was I supposed to do - push Josephine into the hedges so that her daughter can go wherever she pleases? If that were
my daughter, I would have told
her to watch where
she was going, not the lady juggling a stroller, two kids and a dog.
So anyhow, I stop short and ask, completely taken back: "Excuse me?" No, not in a snotty voice, just trying to wrap my mind around what just happened - kind of confused, actually, that she would be so irritated over such an incident. She replied: "First you drive up here all the time like you OWN the place and practically RUN over my children, and now you want to run my daughter off the sidewalk!" She huffed again and started getting her children in her car. I didn't know what to say, I was so shocked by her hostility, so all I managed to get out was: "No one was trying to run her off the sidewalk - she jumped in front of us, and I had nowhere else to go. I didn't hit her, so why don't you relax."
I was really bothered by this for the rest of the week.
Was I driving rudely on the days when I drove to get Maria? I didn't
think so. I pulled up to exactly where the crossing guard told me to (back right before I had Edward, she told me that she didn't want me leaving him in the car to get Maria in the bad weather, so she told me to pull right up to the front, and she would ferry Maria to the car each day). I never drive fast in the school zone, and I always make sure there are no kids anywhere in sight when I cross the intersection to go home.
So anyhow, I see this lady everyday, and it really bothered me that she had accused me of being so rude, when in my eyes,
she was the one with the bad manners. Everyday I saw her I was tempted to ask her what the heck her problem was and why she was so rude to me, but I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere. I decided to try to the whole "turn the other cheek" thing "(you all know what a saint I am, haha), instead.
So, yesterday I see her at school, and I stop to talk to her. I just had this feeling that I should apologize. Sometimes you can totally disarm someone by doing what they don't expect, y'know? So I say to her "I just wanted to apologize for last week. I wasn't tryng to hit your daughter - it's just that the sidewalk there is narrow and I had nowhere else to go - I tried to stop as soon as I could. And about the driving, I had no idea that I was offending anyone. I was just parking where the crossing guard told me to, but I'm sorry if it caused a problem for others"
She didn't skip a beat - "So, since the sidewalk's narrow, it's okay for you to
mow my daughter down? Jeez, you've got a lot of nerve, lady. And you know what? We all have schedules and places to be, too. So you can't just drive around and park wherever so that your daughter can just jump right into your van at her leisure like some spoiled princess"
So now I'm getting a bit frustrated - what is this lady's deal? "I was NOT trying to mow her down - that is ridiculous! And I simply pulled up where the crossing guard asked me to. I didn't know it was an issue, or I wouldn't have done it..."
I didn't even get to finish, because she was saying "whatever, whatever, whatever" over top of my words like some kind of a five-year-old, so she couldn't really hear me.
At that point I lost it: "You are unbelieveable. I am trying to apologize, and your first reaction is to berate me even more? You have your two kids watching you - don't you think you could conjur up even a
modicum of civility towards someone who is trying to apologize? Are you really that miserable of a person?"
Okay, so turning the other cheek didn't work out that well for me, I guess. Maybe I suck at it. She gave me another "Yeah, sure, whatever, lady" and got in her car and left.
Sigh. I just don't get it. She basically taught her kids to:
a) be irresponsible - you don't have to watch where you are going - it's everyone else that better get out of
your way.
b) be unforgiving - if someone apologizes to you, be as rude to them as possible and don't accept their apology. Heck, don't even listen - just talk over them until they shut up.
Great lessons to teach. Anyhow, I'm done ranting - just had to get that off my chest. Why are there so many people out there who are determined to be unkind and rude?
It didn't scan that great - some of it got cut off, and I had to retrace the outline, but you get the idea, a tooth-shaped note from the tooth fairy. I put it under her pillow, along with a crispy new dollar bill.
