Lest I forget to acknowledge the good things in my life, I'd like to take a moment and show off my adorable son. He never ceases to make me smile and make my heart happy... :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Help...
Dear friends,
Most of you know that, two years ago, I suffered a molar pregnancy. Once you have experienced this cancer-like disease, you are at a higher risk for it to happen again. It is actually even possible to have one after you have finished a normal pregnancy. For this reason, a woman who has had a molar pregnancy has to be closely monitored for the first trimester of any subsequent pregnancy, and also must have her placenta sent to pathology after giving birth, and must have bloodwork done on weekly or biweekly basis after giving birth to make sure that her HcG levels return to zero, as they are supposed to (rising HcG levels are one of the symptoms of a molar pregnancy, as the disease mimics a normal pregnancy). I have been having these tests run for the last 11 weeks, and, however slowly, my HcG numbers have been going down. Unfortunately, today, my doctor's nurse called to tell me that my last test showed that my numbers have gone up - not by a lot - only from a 5 to an 8, but any increase is not normal, and therefore, not a good sign. She told me that because of this, I would need to meet with my gyno-oncologist (I was so hoping to never have to see her again...) to discuss my "options".
I am not going to lie and say that I am not truly terrified. Going through this before was a nightmare for me, and it has taken me almost the entire two years since then to really be able to put it behind me. This news today put me into hysterics, as the memories of all the doctors visits, bloodwork and chemotherapy, depression, and overwhelming worry and fear came rushing back to me. I know that this experience happened for a reason, and that it did make me a stronger person, but that does not mean that I want to go through it again.
My appointment is not for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have another blood test between now and then, and I am just praying and hoping and begging that, by some miracle, it shows a zero reading. I know that the odds of having a postpartum molar are not high, but I was on the wrong side of the odds over and over during my molar pregnancy, so I am not betting on those odds. I am trying to be more brave, more faithful than I was last time. I haven't done too well today - I have cried until my eyes burned at least twice already - but I will try to do better tomorrow. But I need your help. The first time I went through this, I kept it mostly to myself and felt terribly alone through the whole ordeal. A friend of mine scolded me when she found out. She couldn't believe that I hadn't told her - "Aren't I your friend?!" she asked. So, I am doing things differently this time. I am telling my friends, and I am asking, no, begging for your prayers on my behalf. I am going to try to put all my energy into having faith that I will not have to go through this hell again, that with enough prayers and faith from my friends and I, that I will get a miracle and my next lab reading will be normal and I can put this behind me for good. I know that this is not the worst thing that can happen to someone, but this disease truly terrifies me, and I just really need your support right now.
So please, help...
Most of you know that, two years ago, I suffered a molar pregnancy. Once you have experienced this cancer-like disease, you are at a higher risk for it to happen again. It is actually even possible to have one after you have finished a normal pregnancy. For this reason, a woman who has had a molar pregnancy has to be closely monitored for the first trimester of any subsequent pregnancy, and also must have her placenta sent to pathology after giving birth, and must have bloodwork done on weekly or biweekly basis after giving birth to make sure that her HcG levels return to zero, as they are supposed to (rising HcG levels are one of the symptoms of a molar pregnancy, as the disease mimics a normal pregnancy). I have been having these tests run for the last 11 weeks, and, however slowly, my HcG numbers have been going down. Unfortunately, today, my doctor's nurse called to tell me that my last test showed that my numbers have gone up - not by a lot - only from a 5 to an 8, but any increase is not normal, and therefore, not a good sign. She told me that because of this, I would need to meet with my gyno-oncologist (I was so hoping to never have to see her again...) to discuss my "options".
I am not going to lie and say that I am not truly terrified. Going through this before was a nightmare for me, and it has taken me almost the entire two years since then to really be able to put it behind me. This news today put me into hysterics, as the memories of all the doctors visits, bloodwork and chemotherapy, depression, and overwhelming worry and fear came rushing back to me. I know that this experience happened for a reason, and that it did make me a stronger person, but that does not mean that I want to go through it again.
My appointment is not for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have another blood test between now and then, and I am just praying and hoping and begging that, by some miracle, it shows a zero reading. I know that the odds of having a postpartum molar are not high, but I was on the wrong side of the odds over and over during my molar pregnancy, so I am not betting on those odds. I am trying to be more brave, more faithful than I was last time. I haven't done too well today - I have cried until my eyes burned at least twice already - but I will try to do better tomorrow. But I need your help. The first time I went through this, I kept it mostly to myself and felt terribly alone through the whole ordeal. A friend of mine scolded me when she found out. She couldn't believe that I hadn't told her - "Aren't I your friend?!" she asked. So, I am doing things differently this time. I am telling my friends, and I am asking, no, begging for your prayers on my behalf. I am going to try to put all my energy into having faith that I will not have to go through this hell again, that with enough prayers and faith from my friends and I, that I will get a miracle and my next lab reading will be normal and I can put this behind me for good. I know that this is not the worst thing that can happen to someone, but this disease truly terrifies me, and I just really need your support right now.
So please, help...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
What am I going to DO?!!!
Okay, so here's the background - neither Maria nor Josephine ever liked to be swaddled once they were home from the hospital. Truth be told, I was never really good at it (I could never understand how those nurses got my baby wrapped up like a human burrito, with not once square inch of blanket out of place...), and they screamed and squirmed and fussed and fought like crazy every time I tried. They broke their way out of my pathetic attempts at swaddling in seconds, and I soon gave up on the idea. Fast forward a few years to Edward, and I saw quite early that he LOVED to be swaddled, and by the third baby, I had actually discovered the knack and the beauty of the swaddle.
That being said, I will admit that I was still a bit skeptical when my friend Christina (love you!)sent me a "Miracle Blanket" in the mail as a baby gift. I mean, I thought it was thoughtful and sweet of her, but the thing looked like a straightjacket-kind-of-contraption, and I secretly wondered what was so much better about this than a good old fashioned blanket. Here is how they look:
That being said, I will admit that I was still a bit skeptical when my friend Christina (love you!)sent me a "Miracle Blanket" in the mail as a baby gift. I mean, I thought it was thoughtful and sweet of her, but the thing looked like a straightjacket-kind-of-contraption, and I secretly wondered what was so much better about this than a good old fashioned blanket. Here is how they look:
Well, she is a good friend and I felt like I would be a brat if I didn't even try it out, so I gave it a whirl one night...and that was the first night that Edward slept for more than two hours at a time. So I used it the next night, and the next, and the next...and thus began my love affair with the miracle blanket.
There were two separate occasions where I couldn't use it because it needed to be washed and wasn't ready for bedtime use, and his sleep habits were dramatically different. Instead of sleeping in 4-5 hour installments, he was back to waking up every two hours - yuck. On both occasions, I made sure he had his miracle blanket the next night and voila - he was sleeping great again. After the terrible sleeper that Josephine was, that was the thing that I was most nervous about when I was pregnant this time around - the baby's sleeping habits - and it makes me so happy that I was given something that helped me with this!
So, as you can see, I love, love, LOVE this blanket and would recommend it to anyone. I think the reason it works so great is that not only does it make it easy to swaddle your baby nice and tight, the way it's designed, they can't work their way out of it easily, which means that their little movements during the night don't wake them up.
Anyhow, so here's my dilemma, Edward is getting too big for it already!! It is supposed to be good to up to 14 weeks old (on average, I guess). He is 10 weeks old, and the last couple of nights, he has managed to work his way out of this thing, meaning that he is now waking more often - boo. Now, mind you, I don't blame the product. This kid is seriously strong for a 2 1/2 month old - we just went to the doctor's yesterday and he said that Eddie is doing things strength-wise that he doesn't expect to see until four months old. So yeah, woop-dee-doo, he's strong and blah blah blah, but what about my precious sleep?!! I knew that he would eventually outgrow the thing (they only sell one size), but I was thinking that I had a few more precious weeks with the thing. He seriously sleeps SO much better with it - the difference is amazing - and I'm not ready to give it up.
:(
Oh, and in case you are wondering, no I am not posting this on behalf of the company or to get any freebies (I had to add this, because I have been guilty of this in the past :), I just love this blanket and am so sad to think that I might not be benefitting from it any longer. Maybe I will take on ad adventure and try to make a bigger-sized one myself...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)