I...need...SLEEP!!!

Edward is having sleep issues...well, that' putting it lightly actually. Really, to be blunt, he is sleeping like crap. I don't know how this started, I just know that I want out, bad. At six weeks old, he was sleeping so well - 5-6 hours at a time, and I was thanking my lucky stars that we didn't have another Josephine on our hands (that's a story for another day - the short of it is that she was the worst sleeper EVER, and did not sleep more than a half an hour at a time until she was 11 months old). He took nice long 2-3 hour naps, and I was in heaven. Ah, but that seems like a lifetime ago at this point...

This is a scene not often had at our house right now - Edward sleeping peacefully - oh, how I long for those days again!!!

I am convinced that the miracle blanket (I've blogged about it before), was responsible for his sleeping so well, so young. But, unfortunately, he grew out of it, and right around the same time, his sleeping started to go downhill. First, he just started waking up more at night, and then the naptimes got shorter and shorter. He is now waking up AT LEAST 7-8 times a night, and waking up after only 30 minutes of naptime, which means he (not to mention the rest of us) is chronically overtired. Wow, it's like deja-vu - HELLO Josephine...sigh.

Lou and I are desperate for sleep, and are at the point where we argue through the wee hours of the morning over whose turn it is to go and deal with the screaming angry baby who does NOT want to sleep alone in his crib. There has been more than a few times now that Edward and I are both crying in his room - a pretty pathetic sight, if you ask me.

And in case you are wondering, NO, I did not bring this habit on myself - I made none of the mistakes this time around that I made with Josephine such as:

• co-sleeping early on
• nursing the baby to sleep all the time
• rocking the baby to sleep

Nope, I was determined to not make those mistakes again - I make sure he is drowsy but awake when I put him down, and he falls asleep just fine, it's just that he doesn't stay asleep, and wakes up over and over and over and over, until Lou and I think we just might go mad.

We've tried several things to combat this, including:

The "Swaddleme", made by Kiddopotomas (recommended by a friend). It's a swaddler for bigger babies, and has velcro so that baby can't break free...except for the fact that somehow or other, Edward does (seriously, how does a baby get past velcro straps?), and at this point, he actually really resents not being able to have his hands free at all times (even though he sleeps soooo much better when he's wrapped up tight, since he startles a LOT in his sleep). So, after several nights of failure, we ditched it.

Edward is VERY gassy, so we thought it might be waking him up. I've heard that Mylacon drops kind of suck (and I don't like overmedicating babies with drugs), so Lou found this all-natural anti-gas stuff (with stuff like ginger and anise), and when Edward is gassy, it works like a charm, stopping his crying within 5 minutes and softening up his hard belly...but he still wakes up all night, just not from gas - darn it.

So then we bought a sound machine with all kinds of white noise sounds. Edward loves loud white noise like the vacuum cleaner, the washer, the dryer, the blender, etc. So we thought, "Hey, they calm him down during the day, maybe they would help him be calm and sleep better at night". Um, no luck there either - crap.

At this point, we've spent over $50 trying to get something that would help with this sleep problem, and so far, we have nothing to show for it...

Oh, and yes, we have also tried the "crying it out" method. It worked fine for Maria (our angel sleeper), but not for Josephine, and not for Edward either. We've let him cry up to an hour, at which point his sheets are drenched with tears and he is twitching and gagging like he is having siezures - nowhere near sleepy land.

So, short of selling him on Ebay (no way am I doing that, seeing as the hell I went through physcially to get him here... :), I have no idea what to do. I did everything I was supposed to this time - I didn't "spoil" him by rocking/nursing him to sleep and/or co-sleeping, I make sure his belly is full and his diaper is dry before I put him down. And the two parental units here are just tired beyond all reason on a regular basis. I know that these times don't last forever, and there are bigger problems in life (I'm sure when he's sixteen and mouthy and all that, I'll long for these days), but tell me that at 3 in the morning when I'm in his room for the 5th time that night and I'll probably tell you to shove it - because that's about my attitude in the middle of the night when I've had zero sleep...

So hey, any suggestions out there?

Happy Anniversary to us!

Today Lou and I celebrate 11 years married - man, we are old!! :) I thought it'd be fun to post some pictures of us as youngins', before either of us ever knew the other existed. So here goes:


This is both of us at six months old. I think I look like a greased up pumpkin in this picture.

We are both about 3 years old in these pictures. Tell me Maria does not look EXACTLY like Lou (and if I had a picture of Josephine next to this one, you would see that she sooo has my face).

And here we both are at about five years old. Yes, Lou was already an avid fisherman, as you can see. :)

So yeah, 11 years and still in love - a miracle in and of itself these days if you ask me. It's been a roller coaster at times (isn't it always, when it comes to marriage?), but I am glad to have him by my side as I go through life.

I know a lot of people see Lou and gruff and coarse (and granted, he is... :), but I am so lucky to know the other sides of Lou, the part of him that loves to take me shopping because he loves to buy nice things for me (he's the one that bought me the Calvin Klein heels that I am in love with), the part that will let my girls put bows and clips in his hair and join them for tea parties, the part that will sat for over an hour and individually wrapped up the 100+ caramels that I made for the neighbors, the part that helped me make 75 custom envelopes (and then sat and addressed them all...) for Eddie's birth announcements, the part that almost never says no to someone who needs help (I'm the whiner, as you all saw in my truck ranting post...).

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to lionize the guy - he's no saint, and thank goodness for that, because perfect people are annoying. :)

So Happy Anniversary to us! 11 years is pretty impressive, if you ask me... :)

Ah, sweet relief...

Well, I got my lab results back today, and I am so happy to share with all of you that my HcG levels are down!! They are down to a 3 (down from 8, where they were), which is just one unit above what is considered to be a normal reading! In fact, by some doctors' standards, this IS a normal reading (my doctor is a bit paranoid, and wants to see a 2). I called Lou at work and was literally screaming into the phone: "I'm a 3, I'm a 3!!!" This is huge news that it went down, and not up, because this means that there is almost no chance that the mole is growing back. I know that this is not coincidence - this is totally answered prayers. After posting last week and getting a blessing, I decided that I was going to think positive and have faith that with a priesthood blessing and the faith and prayers of so many on my behalf, that everything was going to be okay this time, and what a difference that made for me these past seven days.

It was hard for me to post my situation last week, because I tend to be the kind to want to just be strong and try to handle things alone, but I had a strong feeling that I needed to reach out this time, and I am so glad that I did. Knowing that I had friends all over the country praying for me gave me such comfort, and increased my own faith and confidence that it would all be okay, which was a great blessing all by itself this past week. My doctor is being a bit of a killjoy and reminded me that technically I need to have a reading of 2 units for a couple of months before I am totally out of the woods, but I am not at all worried about it. I know that my prayers and the prayers of my friends and family were answered and that I am going to be okay. Thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, phone calls, and comments on here to make me feel supported. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to have that support. You are wonderful friends - thank you, thank you, thank you.