Am I the only one? #52

This edition of "Am I the only one?" has nothing to do with children and more to do with one of my pet-peeves in general: peoples' sense of entitlement and absolute lack of common courtesy. I find that being the owner of a truck makes one a particular target for this sort of behavior - allow me to explain...

Just last night, Lou and I got home from dinner at my mother-in-laws and saw that there was a message on the machine. Here is what it said: "Hi Robyn, this is Ethel from church (she gave no last name, and I have changed her first name) - I need your truck. I am moving tomorrow, and Brother Smith (whose name has been changed) told me that you guys would let me use your truck, and I have to move tomorrow, so I need to use it. Call me back"

Now first of all, although I have seen this woman's name on the R.S. roster, I have never, I repeat, NEVER met her in or out of church, so it really kind of bugs me that she calls up and leaves a message like we are old friends. How the heck was I even supposed to know who was calling to demand our truck? Through a phone call to one of the members of the bishopric, I was able to find out who it was.

Second of all "I need your truck". Are you kidding me?! How about ASKING?!! "I need your truck" is a demand, not a request - rude by any standards, but even more so considering this woman and I have not even been introduced...

Third of all, besides all of the other rudeness in this message, she wants to be moved tomorrow night? Did she really JUST find out last night, or did she just wait till the last minute to think of calling and demanding the use of SOMEONE ELSE'S vehicle? I think a little more notice than this would probably be expected, especially since she didn't even have the courtesy to ask politely.

On a separate and yet related note, it is a serious pet peeve of mine when people who have not been to church in years (or the ones who attended one Sunday after baptism and then disappear) call in the "LDS moving company". I know, I know - this is NOT a very Christlike attitude, and it's not like we should only be serving those who are active LDS members. I just feel like there's this sense of entitlement with some members. They have no interest in committing to the gospel, let alone helping anyone else out in the church. They treat the church like a handout service that they signed up for by being baptized, showing up only when they need something, and then vanish again until the next crisis.

Now, on the other hand, I am continually amazed at all the charity work that the church has done around the world, and am so proud that so much service has been done after the many natural disasters that have plagued many a country in the last few years. The church doesn't do this to "get more members" or as means of proselyting - they do it simply to serve. But I feel like there is a distinct difference between going out there and offering help and someone coming to you and demanding it like it's owed to them. Does that make sense?
And, just an FYI that is not about church members but about people in general. If you have a truck already, you know this, but if you don't and you are thinking of buying one, I have a couple of things to warn you about - things that come with the truck that you don't realize you are signing up for...

#1) People will call you - a lot - to help them move furniture, appliances, lumber, the entire contents of their home, etc. Once you have a truck, it is presumed that you will always be available and willing to help with these things.

#2) People lie about what they need to be moved. They will tell you that it's "just a couch". You will show up and "just a couch" turns out to be anywhere from 6 pieces of furniture up to their entire apartment, which they will, with no shame at all, expect you to move (this has happened to Lou more times than I can count). This means that what you thought would take 30 minutes will take more like 3 hours. Hope you didn't have any plans that day/night.

#3) People will almost never offer gas money. To them, it's very simple. You own the truck, so you pay the gas, and give up your time, and do all the loading and unloading. After all, you're a truck owner, so that's what you are required to do. And I mean, hey, they called you to save money - so why would they pay for your gas? Lou one time got sucked into moving someone across town (this was one of those "it's just a couch" phone calls). He made about four trips in all, and was not even offered a thank you, let alone gas money.

Now for my disclaimer - lest you think that Lou and I are selfish and petty people, we are not. Lou does not mind helping people - he just wants to be extended some common courtesy when he does so. We have had plenty of friends who have asked us whom we were more than happy to assist, and Lou has offered himself plenty of times without even being asked. The thing I don't like is what I stated earlier - when people display a sense of entitlement and a complete lack of consideration for other peoples' time and resources.

And about those whom we have served that fall into the rude category, after I get over my frustration with my husband being taken advantage of again, I remind myself that no service goes unnoticed by Heavenly Father, that even if the recipient has no manners and is not grateful at all, that Heavenly Father is, and that is consolation on those days when peoples' rudeness makes me want to scream... :)

Josephine will be...sigh...Josephine

Such a sweet child, and yet such a trouble-maker!! I should have known from the beginning that she would be the stinker. She hated to have anyone hold her but me until she was about 8 months old, she was a terrible sleeper right from the get go, and is my picky eater (she wouldn't TOUCH meat of any kind until she was over two years old). It's a good thing she is so darn cute and so affectionate (you should see the puppy-dog eyes she makes when she says "sorry" - man, that kid is good...) - it makes it hard to stay angry at her for all the mischief she gets into! Here are a couple of stories for your amusement.

"The Escape Artist"

So, I'm taking a shower one day (Maria was at school), and Josephine was in her room listening to one of her books on CD. I get out of the shower and hear someone outside LAYING on their horn. I mean really honking it, over and over. I'm thinking, "What a jerk. Get out of your stupid car and go GET whoever you're waiting for!" The honking continues and my irritation rises. What is this person's PROBLEM?! All of a sudden I notice how quiet it is in the house and I call Josephine's name. No answer. I think "Could that be...no, no way!" Yep. I run downstairs and outside (in my towel, no less), to see Josephine in the driver's seat of the van. She is wearing nothing but a raincoat and rain boots (seriously, she was butt-naked except for those two things) reclined in the seat with her boots on the steering wheel, kicking the horn. She beeped it once more for my benefit as I opened the door and stared at her in shock. She giggles and says "Look at me, Mommy, "I got in da van ALL by myself!"

"The Hair Stylist"

Another shower story. This time Maria was home, so I felt pretty secure that Josephine would not be escaping outside. I get out of the shower and hear Josephine say: "Look, Maria, I'm cutting my hair!" WHAT?!!! I run into my room where she is and see her holding a small pair of my fabric scissors (nice and sharp - perfect) RIGHT next to her eye with this big smile on her face. "Look, Mommy, I'm a big girl, and I cut my hair, just wike Nana!". "Oh no you don't!" was my instant reply. I snatched the scissors out of her hand and breathed a sigh of relief when I didn't see any hair missing or any locks on my bed. Ahhh, for once, I had good timing. After I talked to her about the danger of scissors and not cutting our hair and all that, I added "Besides, we don't want to cut your pretty hair, now do we?". As I said this, I stroked the side of her head, and out came...you guessed it...a clump of freshly cut hair. Sigh...

"The Fisherman"

Josephine called me upstairs the other day and asked for some help in the bathroom. You see, I'm one of those goofy people who is terrified of my kids getting poop on their hands and so I don't let them wipe themselves until they are 4 years old. Anyhow, so I go upstairs to do my motherly duty and see a very distraught looking Josephine sitting on the toilet. "Mommy, my fishy is in the poop!" Josephine has quite the imagination, so I though this "fish" was an imaginary one. I went to wipe her and lo and behold, there is her blue rubber fish, sitting in a most unfortunate spot in the toilet. Ewww. "Get it out, Mommy, get it out!!", she is pleading. Okay, so option #1 - flush it and hope it goes down and doesn't over flow the toilet and cause a massive plumbing problem. Option #2 - get it out. I'm not liking either option, but #1 threatens to be a lot worse if it goes wrong, which I'm guessing it will. So, how do I get it out? Use a spoon or tongs (which I will then NEVER be able to use for food again, no matter how much I clean them...), or my hands - ICK!! I'm not going to tell you how I got it out - I will let you guess. Needless to say, it was one of the grosser moments of my experience as a mother. What would you have done?

"The Eliminater"

This child has, on more than one occasion, tried to stuff an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet. One time she rolled it in from the dispenser little by little, and another time she actually tried to shove the whole thing down there right out of the bag. "It won't go down, Mommy. I keep fwushing and it just won't go down!" Really? You don't say.

Yesterday, I came upstairs after I was done cleaning lunch and found her squeezing the last of the hand soap I had JUST bought into the bathroom sink. When I asked her why she would do such a thing, she replied innocently "I was just getting rid of ALL da soap so dat Mawia (this is how she pronounces "Maria") wouldn't pway wif it! Did I help, Mommy?" No, Josephine. No, you didn't...

Last night I found her squeezing my husbands entire bottle of contact solution into the bath water. "Mommy, I was just twying to make bubbles!" She didn't get any bubbles out of the deal, by the way - just a punishment for wasting Daddy's stuff.

"The Electrician"

I had just finished the breakfast dishes this morning and went upstairs to do the whole morning routine with the girls - you know - brush the teeth, get dressed, etc. As I get to the top of the stairs, I hear Josephine saying "Just a little more twist, then push it in a little further, and there - just like Daddy does!" I thought "Oh, how cute, she is pretending to be Lou", until I see what she is doing. I stop in horror as I see her shoving a screwdriver into an electrical outlet!! "Josephine, NO!" I scream as I run over to a now very frightened 3-year-old. I push her out of the way and yank the tool out of the outlet, with visions of a crispy-fried child lying on the floor having convulsions. "Mommy, I was just fixing it, wike Daddy!", Josephine protests. Now, lest you think I am an irresponsible parent, we have outlet covers on all the outlets all over the rest of the house. The is the room we are getting ready for the baby, and Lou had just repaired this one, and hadn't covered it up yet. Josephine and I had the whole "no touching the outlets, EVER" talk, and as she walked away, completely oblivious to the danger she had just been exposed to, I shook my head and had to wonder how my children have survived this long... :)

Exploring new parts of NY

We have found yet another reason to love New York - The Chimney Bluffs State Park. I am discovering more and more that there are a TON of beautiful places in New York that I have never been, even though I have lived here almost my entire life. The Chimney Bluffs State Park is one of those places - truly a hidden gem. A couple of weeks ago, we went camping with some friends up at Fair Haven State Camp Grounds to check out the Bluffs and spend some time at Fair Haven beach, which is beautiful. I didn't bother to take pictures of the beach (we have plenty of those from this summer already) - for me, it was all about the bluffs. Prepare to be amazed... :)


This was our view upon arrival, before we even began our hike around the bluffs. The big brown rocky/sandy areas are the bluffs.

Because the bluffs run along Lake Ontario, which is a HUGE lake, there are actually waves that come in, giving it an ocean feel. This is Maria, mezmorized by the small waves... :)

Maria, Haley Hann, and Josephine at one of the lookouts along the hike (the Johnsons and Gleeds were with us, too).

Are you SEEING the color of that water?! Tell me it does not look like the ocean in some tropical location!

Bonus points if you can you see the tiny sailboat in the background...

Seriously, is that water not GORGEOUS?! You would swear we were along the coast.

This was our view where we stopped to eat lunch along the hike.

We tried to get a family photo with the bluffs and the water in the background, but my camera kept acting up (okay, the actual problem was that I hadn't read the manual yet, and didn't know how to deal with the tricky lighting we were working with - part shade/part sunshine), so the background kept getting completely washed out. Bummer.

We could have stayed and taken in this view forever, but the girls were dying to go to the beach, so we started to head back.

We took a different way back, strolling along the water this time. It gave the girls a chance to add to their rock collection (as if we need more, haha).

What is it with kids and the thrill of throwing rocks into water? I thought these pictures were cool because Josephine is in mid-throw and you can even see the stone that she just chucked!

Yay! I learned how to get my camera to take good pictures in the dark!! Maria playing memory that night.

Josephine "playing" memory (more like messing up the game) and being a goof.

It was a short trip - only a weekend - but lots of fun nonetheless. There is nothing like spending a weekend outdoors, eating food over a fire and enjoying the beautiful creations that Heavenly Father made for us. :)

"There is sunshine in my soul today..."

Today was a good day. I have to make that distinction because yesterday...was not. I seem to be having trouble lately with, well, staying happy. It's weird because I am so thrilled to be pregnant. We wanted this baby so badly, and I can't wait to meet our new little one. So why are there times when I feel so depressed? I had the same problem during my pregnancy with Josephine, but this time it seems to be worse. I just have moments (or entire days, in some cases) where I feel very down, overwhelmed and weepy. Sometimes there will be something that triggers it (like a trip to the doctor's where I don't like what I see on the scale or children who refuse to behave...), and sometimes it will come out of nowhere, for no reason. I will be doing something mundane, like grocery shopping, and all of a sudden, without the slightest provocation, I will feel all overwhelmed and anxious and start crying. I guess pregnancy horomones wreak havoc on some people's bodies more than others.

Anyhow, well yesterday I went for one of my prenatal appointments, and found out that I now weigh what I did when I gave birth to both of my girls...and I have 10 weeks left to go. I was so frustrated, because I have been working out the whole time, eating good foods (indulging from time to time, as I did with the last two pregnancies), and I felt like I was failing somehow. This probably seems quite melodramatic to many of you, but my body is something I feel I should have some control over, so this was a big deal to me. So of course this set me off on the wrong foot. For the rest of the day, it seemed that nothing was going right - from my children's behavior in the grocery store to the errands and chores that didn't get done that day. Everytime I grunted when I bent over or huffed and puffed when I got to the top of the stairs, I would start crying, thinking that I wouldn't so bad off if I wasn't so big already. When I sat down to play the piano for family home evening, I had a total meltdown. At that moment I was exhausted from the day, my feet were aching, and my lovely maternity garments were cutting into my round belly. The thought occurred to me "I'm not even close to done! I have 10 WEEKS left of this. If I am this tired and uncomfortable now, how the heck am I going to feel at 40 weeks?!! How am I going to do this and be a good mother and wife?!" Tears were running down my cheeks all during the song, and I had to excuse myself when the song ended so that my kids didn't see me acting like a complete basketcase. Lou came over to see what was wrong and I just lost it - blubbering on and on about feeling awful and not knowing why and not knowing how to fix it. Yeah, not one of my finer moments... Luckily, my husband knew just what to do - he hugged me and let me cry, and then lifted my chin up and said: "You know what you need? Ice cream." And so off we went to Gannon's Isle for ice cream. :)

Well, some wise friends of mine gave me some great advice today - to remember the miracle growing inside of me and to try to focus on the amazing thing my body is doing right now. To remind myself how much I wanted this, and how much joy I will feel when I see this baby. I am sure that I will have more horomonal moments to come as I get bigger, and more tired and all that, but I will try to keep these things in mind in those moments to get me through. Anyhow, with my new attitude adjustment, I decided that I needed a fun, relaxing day with my kids. So, after getting some random errands done, we filled up our kiddie pool and played in it for what seemed like hours (yes, I got in, too - it was SCORCHING hot today, and that cold water was HEAVEN!!). Then we lounged around the yard in our lawn chairs, sang songs, colored with chalk and ate popscicles - it was just what I needed :) Maria wanted to take some pictures of me with our new camera (she is really into the camera thing lately), and though my first inclination was to say no (I was in my maternity swimsuit at the time...), I decided to heck with it! Why not take some pictures that celebrate my pregnant body instead of complaining about it? So I did a little photo shoot with her (she had so much fun with this!), and now you get to laugh at the results. So here is a collection of pictures from my "good day" - the day where I didn't worry about how much weight I've gained or how I'm going to feel in 6 weeks, about all the other errands and chores I didn't get done or how I've failed as a person, etc. The day where I stopped and lived in the moment and enjoyed my children - all three of them... :)

Still the baby of the family, for a little bit longer... :)

Maria thought it was hilarious to take pictures of ourselves, so we both did it once:

The girls, jumping around like jack-rabbits...

...and Josephine showing some sisterly affection

Here's to the days where we stop criticizing ourselves, sit back, relax, and remember to be grateful for what we have.... :)