38 weeks pregnant

My 4th pregnancy is coming to close, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. We've always said four kids - that's it, and in a lot of ways, I really do feel like this is our last. The fact that I am feeling very bittersweet about the fact that it is almost over (instead of the usual "I am SO done with this!!" that I feel at the end of a pregnancy) says a lot all by itself.
I'm so excited to meet our baby, but part of me thinks it is so sad that this part of my life (the pregnancy part) is ending. I've been getting very sentimental about it all, and I feel like that is my subconscious telling me that I really do know deep down that we are done, that this is it - that is why I feel like I've been savoring it more this time. You can't just keep having babies forEVER, so I knew it was going to end at some point, but like all important parts of our lives, it is sad to see them go and move on to the next thing.
Things I will miss about pregnancy:
- the way people are always smiling at you, opening doors for you, offering to help. People are way nicer to you when you are pregnant. Everybody loves a pregnant lady.
- the way food tastes so amazing when you are pregnant (once you get past the evil 1st trimester), especially food that you have been craving
- feeling the baby move - that special bond that only you and the baby share
- feeling like a superhero because you are doing something AWESOME - making an entire person.
- anticipating meeting your baby and wondering if it's a boy or girl
- the "bedroom" benefits (achieving the big "O" takes almost no effort when you are pregnant - and yes, I just went there)
- that amazing moment of relief right after your baby is born, when nothing else in the world matters other than...YOU DID IT!!!
Things I will NOT miss about pregnancy:
- the first trimester - ugh, enough said.
- trying to pick out names (Lou and I have a really hard time agreeing on them)
- feeling tired and lazy and unable to keep up with your kids, the housework, etc.
- not being able to do things because your big pregnant belly is in the way (you want to sit on Mom's lap for stories? Sorry, Mommy doesn't have a lap left...)
- back pain, pelvic pain, and those weird shooting pains I get in my groin area that come out of nowhere
- not being able to sleep well at night
- the pressure to lose pregnancy weight fast and look fabulous in like, a week
I have no idea how much longer I'll be pregnant (a couple of days, a couple of weeks?), but although the anticipation is killing me, I am trying to just savor what is left in this stage of my life, and drink it all in, because I know that before I know it - it will be done and over with.
But then I will get to meet my sweet little one, all soft and squishy and helpless and brand-new and beautiful. Now that's something to look forward to... :)










