Am I the only one? #45

Okay, so warning - this may offend some of you, because I'm sure that some of you have done this in the past, but I feel that this post is something that needs to be said. So, here goes...

Am I the only one that thinks that it is tacky and inapporpriate to hand out invitations to personal parties during church? I'm sorry, but this is a pet peeve of mine.

Confession: I, myself, have done this once - ONCE - it was for a baby shower. I was uncomfortable with it the whole time and swore I would never do it again, and for good reason.

Devil's Advocate: Now, I know why people do this - postage is expensive, so hey, why not save some money on stamps and just hand them out at church? ("gee, I just don't get why people think mormons are cheap?")

Here's why this is a TERRIBLE idea: Are you inviting the entire ward? Didn't think so. And isn't there just the smallest chance that some of the people that you didn't invite might see you going around slipping people envelopes and think "I wonder what that's for?" and then wonder why they don't get one? And then feel nice and excluded? Yeah, I'm guessing there's a good chance of that.

Now, I bet by this point you are thinking that these are the bitter rantings of someone who has recently been one of "those" unfortunate people - the uninvited. Not so. I just really don't like it. No matter how it's done, it's not appropriate in a place that is supposed to be welcoming and open. If it's done discreetly, it's all secretive and hush hush: "here - don't let anybody see this", and if it's not discreet it's even worse: "Here's one for you, and one for you, and one for you...oh, not for you, though".

As I've said, I've never liked this practice, but in the last few months it has really touched a nerve for me because TWICE now my daughters have had their feelings hurt because they saw a bunch of other kids getting the prized envelopes, and not received one themselves. (Cue in mother bear...)

The first time was in the fall and was especially awkward. The girls and I were just leaving church when a little girl rushed up to Maria and Josephine saying "Oh, we have an invitation for you, for my party!" So the girls and I stopped and waited for her to hand them the invitation. Her Mom grabbed her arm and was all "NO! Wait a minute, just WAIT a minute" The mother just sat looking at me like a deer in headlights, and then avoided further eye contact and kept stammering "um, just wait a minute, honey" to her daughter as they walked away. So I sat there for a few seconds like a dummy, and then it hit me "Oooooh, they aren't really invited and she doesn't know what to say...". Yeah, talk about awkward. A few dollars in stamps could have saved her a lot of embarrassment and spared my girls' feelings who just kept saying "But Mom, she said we were invited - how come we're not invited?".

The second time was more recently. Someone was handing out invitations during Primary of all things, with all the kids there watching! Um, HELLO!! I heard two or three kids say "Hey, I want mail! How come they get mail and I don't?" Josephine saw it and said to me "Mommy, are those invitations to a party? Are we going to get one?" Maria just gives me this look (too smart for her own good). Now, seriously, what the heck am I supposed to say to that?

Disclaimer: I am not one of those ultra-liberal feel-good parents who thinks that kids should never have to suffer disappointment. I don't think that all the teams should get a trophy, even if they stink, and I don't think that all students should get awards at the end of the school year ("Oh honey, you got an award for 'Most Improved in Coloring in the Lines - I'm so proud!!") . And I don't think my daughters should be invited to every social event in the ward (that is just silly). BUT, being publicly excluded from a group is different, and don't kid yourself - the church building is public. I am an adult who can take life's punches with the best of them, but I have to tell you, I know what it feels like to feel "left out" of something that I thought I would be included in (as I'm sure you all have), and it's NOT a nice feeling. And it certainly should not be felt at church, of all places.

Moral of the Story: If you are throwing a party, you are NOT obligated to invite the entire ward (that is not the point of this post). BUT you should keep your invitations as private as your party. Unless you are inviting everyone to your event, don't hand out the invites at church. It openly excludes people, hurting feelings and making you look rude and thoughtless, even if you are a super nice person and that is not your intention. If you don't have the cash for stamps, send out an email or a freakin' Evite - they're FREE, for crying out loud! Okay, rant over ;)

Easy, yet decadent breakfast

I'm on new recipe kick, as you can see. To change gears a little bit, here's a breakfast one:

Banana Oatmeal Cinnamon Creme Brulee

A friend of mine posted this recipe on her facebook page (thank you, Christina!), and it is, indeed, a gem of a recipe. Easy, quick, delicious - divine, actually.

The only ingredient you might not have on hand is the pudding, but that can be made up in a flash if you have the boxed stuff on hand, and those little pudding cups are easy to get anywhere.

Anyhow, click here for the whole recipe.

A couple of notes -

1) I'm not a big fan of instant pudding (I think it's nasty, actually), so I used those little pre-packaged pudding cups. Three of them made up the exact amount I needed. You could also make the "cook and serve" kind of boxed pudding, but the whole beauty of this recipe is that it is fast and easy, so I didn't want to add that extra step. I got a four pack of pudding cups at Aldi for .89.

2) If you don't have quick-cooking oats on hand (I didn't because I never use those for anything), you can make it with old-fashioned rolled oats. You just increase the water to 3 ½ cups (but use the same amount of oats in the recipe), and you have to cook it for a little bit longer - 5-6 minutes on medium heat, stirring occasionally. Then cover the pan, remove from heat and let stand for 2-3 minutes. It may seem a bit soupy at first, but don't worry, it firms up upon standing. Follow the rest of the direction as is.

3) Also, this can be made family style – I did this because I don't have any small oven-proof bowls. Just put everything into 8 or 9 inch casserole dish (I used my round pyrex one) instead of individual bowls before you put it in to broil, and be careful when you broil it - stay there and watch it closely - as soon as the sugar begins to bubble - it's done! Sugar burns easily (and tastes gross when it does), so don't leave this unattended during this part!!

Okay, so that's it - this is soooo yummy, and the simplicity of the recipe makes it even better. Enjoy!

More green food - this time, Italian!

Oh, this one is so good, I just had to share it.

Pesto Linguini with Green Beans and Potatoes

I know, you may be thinking "Potatoes and green beans in your pasta? Weird" But don't let it worry you - it is FANTASTIC!! I saw this made on a cooking show, and, being a lover of all things pesto, just had to try it. This is apparently a typical dish often made in Genoa, Italy. I am not even going to pretend that I know where that is or that I've been there, but I give a big two thumbs up to this recipe.

I found a few versions of this recipe on the web, and I took some ideas from this and that and came up with my own version.

Here it is: (you can easily just halve this recipe if you are making it for only two people)

1 pound whole wheat linguini
1 cup prepared pesto (you can use homemade or store-bought)
1 pound green beans, trimmed and cut into thirds (or halved if they are small)
4 small-medium sized all-purpose white potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2" - 3/4" cubes
salt
freshly ground pepper
grated parmesan cheese

Okay, so this is really simple.

#1) Heat up the water for the pasta
#2) Put the pasta AND the potatoes in at the same time
#3) During the last six minutes of cooking, put the green beans in with the potatoes and pasta
#4) When the pasta/potatoes/green beans are done (which should be all at the same time if you have timed it right), drain the whole mess into a collander
#5) Return it all to the pot, and toss with the 1 cup pesto.
#6) Season with salt and pepper as desired
#7) Serve immediatly, with grated parmesan cheese available to add as desired

I was absolutely over the moon for this dish, and was pleasantly surprised at how well the green beans and potatoes went with the yummy pesto flavor.

You could serve this with fresh bread and salad, but honestly, I think this meal stands alone quite nicely. Lou said he would have liked to have plain fried meatballs on the side, but I liked the fact that this dish was nice and filling with NO meat at all (I love me some meat, but I also like a break from it from time to time).

Anyhow, happy eating!

If you're feeling adventurous...

I didn't use to like to cook - in fact, I hated it. And still, nowadays, I would almost always prefer to bake something than to cook a meal. BUT over the last 12 years of marriage and 4 1/2 years as a stay-at-home mom, I have learned to love cooking, or at least like it more than I used to.

I have found that the trick is variety. If I don't have cook and serve a variety of foods throughout the year, I get seriously bored and start to hate it all over again. I'm just not the kind of Mom who can serve Mac-n-cheese or hot dogs or spaghetti or whatever night after night after night and be satifsifed. It's just too boring for me. I need variety to keep me interested in doing it.

Disclaimer: There ARE a couple of go-to meals that I make on a regular basis that are easy and don't take a lot of thought and prep work - if I tried to be Julia Childs every night I think I would probably just lose my mind. Therefore, we do, on a regular basis eat hamburgers, pizza (every Friday night is our family pizza night and we make our own, which is fun), quesadillas, and all sorts of those lame-o Campbell's soup recipes (those have saved me in a pinch many a time). Gotta love an easy dinner.

BUT I am constantly trying new things in the kitchen, and the members of my family are usually really good sports about putting up with some of the random things I have served them.

Here is my latest venture into new recipe territory:

Roasted Tomatillo and Chicken Chilaquiles

It's like a casserole. I saw the video for it online, and as soon as I saw that the sauce was basically green salsa (made up of tomatillos, garlic, jalepeños, onions, cilantro, olive oil, and lime juice), I was sold. Can you really go wrong with that mix of ingredients? By the way, if you've never heard of tomatillos (which I hadn't, before I made this), they are really small bright green tomatos with a husk on the outside (you peel this before using them). They have a delightful light lemony flavor (click on the green salsa link if you want to see a picture of them).

So anyhow, instead of using noodles or rice, this casserole-type dish uses whole wheat tortillas cut up into strips - interesting, no?

Anyhow, so the rest of it is shredded roasted chicken (and yes, I roasted a chicken the day before for this recipe, because I don't think it would taste the same if you just used cooked boneless breasts), more cilantro, green onions, cumin, chili powder, kosher salt and freshly ground pepper (for the exact recipe, click here).

Then you top the whole thing with queso fresco (a soft crumbly mexican cheese that reminds me a little bit of mozzerella - it is soooo yummy, and you can get it at Walmart), and mozzerella.

It was delicious!!! And if you like mexican food, especially green salsa, I am betting you will love it, too.

HOWEVER, as much as I loved the overall flavor of this dish, there are a few things that I would change when I make it again.

#1)I will probably take some of the cilantro out - it was a bit overpowering

#2) I will probably cut down on the green onions, too, just to lower the intensity a bit.

#3) I am thinking that next time, instead of tortilla strips (I don't know that I was crazy about tortillas baked into a casserole - the soft texture bugged me a little), that I will do brown rice and black beans, and then serve the whole thing with whole wheat tortillas to eat as a wrap instead of a casserole. Yes, I think THEN it will be perfect.

Anyhow, overall, it has a really rich flavor with a delicious hint of spices and lime - soooo good!

Purse update

I'm sure you've all just been on the edge of your seats wondering which way I would go... ;) I decided to go with the camel-colored satchel (the first purse pictured in my last post). I was leaning toward the hobo at first, but not necessarily because I liked it more - more because it was my "safe" option - I always have hobo bags (I do love them!), and the dark brown would have been just like my old purse, just a different color and a little bit bigger. I decided that I needed to try something new, something more fun, so I went with the satchel, and I'm glad I did. I didn't want a bigger bag, because #1) I don't double my purse as a diaper bag (I have a diaper bag for such things!), and #2) I didn't really want the temptation to cram it with more and more stuff (which I would have). And I just needed to choose something different this time. I love my new, cute purse. I love the beautiful purple satin lining, I love all the cute little compartments (the anal organizational freak in me is REALLY loving these!), and I just love the overall look of it. It's fun sometimes to not go with the same old, same old, y'know?

Indecisive me - HELP!

Okay, so here's the deal. Lou got me two purses for Christmas. He couldn't decide which one I'd like better, so he just gave them both to me and told me to keep the one I liked best. If only I wasn't horrible at choosing between two good things. These purses are so different from one another, and that's one of the things that makes it so hard. One is a cute satchel-style handbag, and the other is a basic over-the-shoulder hobo bag. I am so indecisive when it comes to trivial decisions like this, so I'm asking my friends out there which one they think is better (those of you who haven't by now rolled your eyes at this post and gone on to the next blog). I am not writing the prices because this is a gift, so I am not using that as a factor (not to mention I don't know how much they cost because Lou didn't tell me). And NO, I am NOT keeping them both, so don't suggest that

Satchel handbag

(I have such small arms, I can actually wear this on my shoulder too, but having two thick leather straps there is not really as comfy as a regular over the shoulder bag)

Pros:

-cute and stylish (I love the retro big zippers and the color of the leather)

-lots of compartments for better organization

-no bigger footprint than my old one

-pretty royal purple satin ( though probably faux satin) lining

Cons:

-HEAVY!!! This purse weighs 4 lbs 5 oz when it has all my stuff in it! It weighs over 2 lbs when it is empty! I am wondering if it would be really annoying to carry around a purse this heavy all the time

-I am wondering if this is going to be dirty looking fast with such light-colored leather

-smooth leather. This part I actually like - it makes for a more polished look, but of course it scratches easily, and having three kids, I have to take this into account. Ditto about the "getting dirty" worry

front

side (you can see the retro-style large zippers here)

back of purse (that is actually a pocket you are seeing there)

Hobo over-the-shoulder bag

Pros:

-this purse is about 20% bigger, which means not only does all my stuff fit with no problem, but I can put more stuff in it if I want to down the road

-It has plenty of compartments to organize my stuff (not as many as the satchel, but it's enough for my use)

-It is not too heavy. It weighs about 3 1/2 pounds when full of my stuff (about 1 1/2 pounds empty)

-the dark color will hide the wear and tear better

-the soft hammered leather will not scratch as easily

Cons:

-it's a good bit bigger than the other purse. Why do I put this as both a pro AND a con? Being able to fit more stuff in your purse (thus making it even heavier) is not necessarily a good thing...

-the lining is not as pretty - some sort of microfiber (but then again, it's probably more durable than the satin)

-it's kind of boring and whatever. Just sort of your basic purse (but then again, at this stage in my life, should I stick with that? I don't know.)

So, what do you think?

The DeGaetano's fall...and then "my fall"...

Yes, I know that Christmas is three days away and it seems kind of silly to do a fall post at this point, but I'm just getting around to it, so whatever. Here's just a few picks from our fall days in Central New York

Clark Reservation

(Josephine clowning around)

Sigh - beautiful, no?

Watkins Glen

(this is Maria posing here :)

This place was like a hidden paradise - so pretty!

Pumpkin Patch & Fall festivities

Halloween costumes

This is Edward sampling his first lollipop...with the wrapper still on. Guess what? He still loved it. :)

The girls just goofing around in the leaves

My sister's wedding

Maria and Josephine were flower girls

Edward got to wear his first suit!

Love this shot!!

I was a bridesmaid, so the girls' dresses and mine coordinated. Can you believe that these dark-haired beauties are actually half me? Weird. :)

Grant me a moment of vanity, but I love this picture of myself (something I don't often say). I was so excited to have my hair all curly and fancy, and I loved my plum-colored dress. It was nice to get all dressed up and feel like a girl. ;)

Now for "my fall" Yes, that is my attempt at a clever play-on-words. I had a bad fall this past Sunday, and I mean BAD. I was going down the stairs, and had my hands full, when one of my feet hit one of the stairs wrong (I had slippery socks on), and I went flying like a cartoon character on a banana peel (expect that it was sooo not funny). At first I thought I was fine – just bruised up on my tailbone and elbows, but as I started walking/limping around, I started to feel sick to my stomach, then came a killer headache, then whoosiness, then I started shaking all over. Shock. My body was in shock, I realized. And the pain was getting REALLY bad in my tailbone – radiating and throbbing all over and getting worse by the minute. It came to me right away that I must have broken it. I called my Dad and described the situation and he said without hesitation – “You broke it. I can tell just from the way you sound that you broke it.” NO WAY!!! I thought. NOT NOW! Six days before Christmas. He told me that there was nothing a doctor could do for it (which I later confirmed with my doctor), and that I just had to get a donut pillow (to be able to sit down) and to take some Ibuprofen or Tylenol. That was all I could do. Great. I got off the phone and was pretty much shaking uncontrollably and hyperventilating (due to the pain and the shaking, I’m thinking), and at that point, Lou came down from putting the girls to bed and saw me and came over immediately. He’s seen me go through three child labors drug free and not make such a fuss, so I think he knew this pain was BAD. I kept trying to breathe through it like I have done in labor, but the pain wasn’t the same. It wouldn’t let up, there were no break, and the shaking and the nausea made everything that much more awful. I felt like I needed to sit down because of the nausea, but I was afraid to sit because my butt bone hurt sooo bad. I finally sat down on a nice gel ice pack with Lou’s assistance. It was very painful at first, but after awhile it all went numb, which was just wonderful. Lou went and got me a donut pillow from the his office. I got a blessing, so I feel good about that. We were going to get it X-rayed, but, after doing some research and talking to my doctor, we found out that there are really no benefits to getting an X-ray, because no matter what the X-ray shows, they treat it the same – light pain meds and rest. I am not going to expose my ovaries to radiation for nothing – not with the molar pregnancy in my past – no way am I taking a chance on messing up the rest of my eggs!! I know this bone is broken from my symptoms – I don’t need to pay $70 (which is what it would cost in co-pays) and blast my body with radiation to confirm it.
At this point, I am just struggling with the whole "taking it easy" part. I don't LIKE to take it easy - that is the OPPOSITE of my personality!! Obviously all my plans for Christmas have been altered quite a bit, but my family has been wonderful about stepping up to the plate to help pick up my slack.

My extended family has gone out and finished some of my last-minute shopping for me, Lou went and did the grocery shopping last night, and has been helping out more with the diaper changes and bathing the kids and all that (it’s a Christmas miracle! :). The girls have also had to chip in more. Since I can’t even bend over without wincing in pain, they’ve had to help out with even the smallest things. It’s really hard for me to ask for so much help, as I am a VERY independent person, but I suppose everyone needs a nice humbling experience from time to time to keep them grounded. I’ve been trying to look at this experience like that – like an opportunity to learn something. There has to be some good that comes out of it, right? Sigh, I hope so, because the whole “no exercise, no sex for six weeks” thing pretty much seems like a prison term/death sentence to me. Yeah, that's right - I just wrote "sex" on my blog. I never claimed that this site was G-rated. :)

So I will be spending the next six weeks trying to swallow my pride and accept help from others and getting a big lesson in patience. I guess I COULD use that. :) Even so, I am dying to be back to my spunky, bouncing all over the place self soon. This “taking it easy” stuff sucks.


Merry Christmas to all my friends and family out there - I hope yours is wonderful and free from broken bones! ;)