And here are the details...

Okay, this is kind of long, but I really wanted to share this story with all my friends out there :)

So, by now it's been established that I am, indeed, incubating baby #3. We are all, as you can imagine, ecstatic. I am due on October 12th, and so am now a little over 12 weeks along. This pregnancy has been very different from the last two - I have of course been exhausted and nauseated (will food EVER sound good to me again?!), but I have been spared the horrible level of morning sickness that I experienced with my two girls (throwing up 3x/ day, for example). For that I am very grateful, although I could do without the severe bloating and burping issues I have been having (seriously, by the end of the night, I look like 2 week old road kill...).

In general, though, I am on cloud nine. I think that most of you know about my horrible experience with a molar pregnancy back in December of 2007. I have to say, it gave me a whole new appreciation for the miracle of pregnancy. I am so in awe of the fact that I am actually pregnant (with a baby this time, and not a deadly cancer-like disease!), I feel like this is my first one all over again! It's funny how, when you know how much can go wrong, you see what a miracle it is when it all goes right!

I was actually really scared to even try again. I was convinced that my luck had run out when it came to pregnancy, and that I would either a) have another molar pregnancy, b) have a miscarriage, or c) just never be able to have children again. This may sound silly or overdramatic to some of you, but once you have a traumatic experience like that, it changes the way you see yourself. You feel marked for disaster somehow - so much more vulnerable.

It didn't help that early in the pregnancy the doctor called me and told me that my HcG and progesterene levels weren't rising like they should, and that they wanted to get me in for an earlier ultrasound to make sure that everything was okay. So...I totally freaked out and convinced myself that I was having a miscarriage. I spent the next week before the ultrasound in absolute agony, going back and forth between pleading with God that everything would be okay, and giving up hope entirely and crying my eyes out. Not fun.

Then came the day of the ultrasound. Right before I went in, I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out once more. I hadn't been "feeling" pregnant for the last few days, and was so sure that the baby had died. Memories of the ultrasound from my miscarriage came back (I will never forget the sight of that black, empty screen), and I started having a panic attack just thinking about what I might see...or not see...on that screen.

I looked at the screen when the ultrasound began and saw...nothing. I seriously started hyperventilating and had to look away. I just stared at the ceiling and tried to hold it together as I braced myself for the bad news. All of a sudden the tech said "Hold on, I have to reset the computer, I'm getting a triple image here - it looked like there were three of them in there". I sort of sat up and said "three of WHAT?" She reset the screen and found again what she was looking for. "Three of these", she said, as she pointed to the blob on the screen. "But don't worry, there's only one baby in there". "What?!", I asked, my voice cracking, "There's a BABY?!!" She nodded her head and pointed out the heartbeat, flickering away, defying all of my fears and worries. "There's a baby?" I managed to squeak out again as the tears started coming, "And it's okay? It's normal?" She nodded and said that it looked perfect. I stared in complete disbelief at this tiny miracle. I really had made up my mind that this baby was dead, and I just could not believe that it was actually alive! It seemed impossible. I laid my head back down and just sobbed with relief as Lou reached over and squeezed my hand. It was a beautiful moment.

I was still a bit nervous in the following weeks, as I had read stories in the past of molars being discovered as late as 11 weeks. But the nine-week ultrasound showed a perfectly normal baby, as did the 12 week one that was done on Tuesday. The doctor pronounced this a healthy and normal pregnancy, and told me that I could officially start celebrating.

I left that appointment feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was really going to happen - we were REALLY going to have another baby! There was a large part of me that believed that it might happen never again for us. Some days I still can't believe it.

Thank you all so much for all of your support, prayers and congratulations for us. We are so excited, and it really warms my heart to hear all of my friends acknowledge how huge this is for us.

Okay, no more walking on eggshells, holding my breath, or waiting for the other shoe to drop...

Let's play a guessing game - can you guess what this series of pictures means?

Hmmm...what does it mean?

...a little bit closer...

...and a wee bit closer...



Do you have it yet?

Nighty night!

I just had to post this picture because I thought it was so cute. During Josephine's "sleepy time" (we don't call it naptime around here, because according to Josephine, "naptime is for babies!"), Josephine likes to look at a book while she waits to doze off. Today, when I went to check on her to see if she was asleep yet, I found her like this:

My favorite part is how the book is upside down.

Just one of those fun moments where you think "man, my kid is cute". It makes up for the times when you are thinking "man, my kid is annoying!" And don't kid yourself, you've all thought BOTH of those things... :)

By the way, the book in the picture is one that I highly recommend: "The Little Mouse, The Red, Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear". It is short, but seriously cute, and a big favorite around this house.

Goodbye winter!

Well, the time has come to say goodbye to winter. I do love winter - the snow, the cold, the feeling of everything being so quiet and still...

Having said that...I am SO ready for spring! Some of our perennials have already shot up and have gotten me all revved up about green grass and gardening and parks...

I love the new start that spring brings - everything coming alive again after lying dormant for so long. Most of all I just love the change in seasons and the inevitable time of self-reflection that always accompanys it.

So anyway, a couple of weeks ago, Maria reminded me of a promise that I made to make a snowman together. We finally got to it and it's a good thing we did it when we did, because the next day it all melted and it has not snowed again since.

So long Frosty!

Josephine trying to find some suitable arms for our snowman

"Like a big pink nightmare!"

Here is Maria eating the other half of Frosty's nose - the cannibal...

And here they are sharing the remains of Frosty's nose. Our last romp in the snow!

Anyhow, so long winter - it was fun while it lasted! Until next year!

Now bring on the green... :)

No pictures - Booo!

So, our camera is on the fritz, mostly because Lou SAT ON IT at my sister's wedding a month ago, which would explain why I haven't posted in so long. I feel that all posts should have pictures, though I don't know why.

Anyhow, this post is the result of something that has been on my mind the past couple of days, and that is the fact that I have really come to appreciate "little kid talk". I love it all, the mispronunciations, the speech impediments, that sentences that make no sense - it's great! Here are a few of my favorites of Josephines right now:

-Jefus Christ (instead of Jesus)
-wif (as in "I want to go wif you!")
-fwee (as in the number 3)
-dat (instead of "that")
-dose (instead of "those")
-pwease (instead of "please")
-Fodder (instead of "father". "Where's my fodder?" - too cute)
-Bizmiss (instead of "business", as in "Mind your own BIZMISS Maria!")
-Her new habit of saying "seriously" with everything (except she says it like "sewiouswy"). For example, today she told me "I wike (like) cows, Mommy. Sewiouswy, I weally (really) do wike dem (them). Sewiouswy." She cracks me up

There are so many more, but I can't think of them off hand, and anyways, you get the point. I love her little kid talk - one of my little pleasures as a Mom... :)

Creations

I think this is really old news, but some of you did request pictures of the homemade gifts I made at our Relief Society Enrichment activity in November. There were lots of options, but I made the decorative mirrors. They looked really easy, but they are not as simple as they appear. They are made using a stencil and spraypaint, and the paint is actually kind of fussy to put on (and make it look good, that is.). I made six altogether, but only photograhed two, since the rest are repeats.


It's actually really hard to photograph a mirror! But I hope you can get the idea of what they look like.


This was one of my favorites - it's the Washington D.C. temple, where Lou and I were sealed (all the funny lines you see are just weird reflections of sunlight bouncing off the walls). I made one for us, and one for my parents (it's where they were sealed, too). I also made one of the Salt Lake City temple.

I took a cake decorating class in January! I decorated three cakes throughout the class, and this one is my second one! It was a lot of fun. Oh yeah, and if you look carefully, you'll notice a chunk missing on the far side. Thank you, Lou...

Here is a close-up of the side. My border on top isn't as nice as the one on bottom - I got better as I went along, I guess...

Here is a close-up of some of the flowers I learned (besides the VERY difficult rose...).

My third cake was way nicer, but Lou sat on our camera recently (and broke it, of course), so alas, we now have no camera. My sister took pictures on her phone, but who knows when, or if I will ever get them.

Anyways, with my newfound skills, I am now looking for any excuse to make a cake!! Any requests? :)

Happy Anniversary to us!

Lou and I celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary today! Sometimes it feels as though we have always been together, yet somehow, at the same time it is hard to believe that it has already been 10 years! It has been an adventurous 10 years, I will say that, with our fair share of ups and down. As you all know, Lou and I both have VERY strong personalities, and so I tend to think that lasting 10 years together is quite an accomplishment for us! I will not say that it has been easy, but I will say that I glad that we have never given up. Over the years, we have laughed together, cried together, and experienced every emotion in between. Through it all, though our differences are many, our one grand thing is common is that we love each other beyond reason. He may irritate me at times (okay, a lot of times) and embarass the heck out of me at others, but I do love my big, crazy, loudmouth Italian... :)


Here are some wedding photos for your viewing pleasure:

Louis and Robyn DeGaetano

January 16, 1999-January 16, 2009

10 years together...

Happy Anniversary, Lou!