Thursday, April 1, 2010
What the heck?
Lately, everytime I turn around I hear that someone that I know is doing homeschooling next year. Okay, I'm not knocking homeschooling or anything, but what is up with that? Am I missing something? I mean, I and almost everyone I know went to public school, and we all turned out just fine - we can read and write and speak coherently and everything! :) People who go to public school go to college, become doctors, lawyers, teachers...and great moms. Again, I am not against homeschooling, but I just don't see what the big attraction is and why more and more moms are yanking their kids out of school to educate their kids at home. Maybe I lack vision. Maybe I'm lazy. I don't know, but I just can't wrap my mind around this sudden trend of homeschooling being all the rage...
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OK, so I've actually had to take some time to think about how to comment. I really don't have anything against public school. I think it is great. I think teachers are way underpaid, schools are way understaffed, and teachers work way too hard. I'm all for teachers making six figures. Sterling's teacher is amazing. The principle is awesome. The school is doing the best it can and a shoestring budget and the best is can is amazing.
Here's my problem. Other kids. As we come down to the last days, Satan is fighting harder, coming up with new tricks and really doing a great job. When I was a teen, things were bad. Heck, when I was in sixth grade I had a friend who was kissing her boyfriend at recess and was getting felt up in seventh grade. I know this isn't new, but it is much more prevalent. It is so common to see things on TV that were in R rated movies ten years ago. It's only going to get worse. My point, I guess is, I want to try to shelter my kids as much as possible. Maybe that's not the best tactic, but I don't think we have enough time as families anymore to really make sure we are giving our kids every protection we can before sending them out to fight a battle. If I have a chance to keep my kids from the evil out there, I'm gonna take it.
When Sterling was a baby I thought about this. I've thought about it for almost six years, and if something bugs me that much, I've figured out it is someone else trying to get through my thick skull.
And who am I to ignore that?
I actually have no opinion about which is "the best choice". I really think the best choice might depend on the child. Right now I send Saylor to public school and I will send Michael there next year. I only have Saylor to go by but she is VERY social and loves school. She is a very happy and confident child (which is a big deal for me). Having said that much, if I see one of my kids truly struggling (in any way, ie-learning, socially, emotionally, etc) I probably would yank them out homeschool them here. My desire is to do my best with each child.
I agree wholeheartedly with Sarah that the problem with public school is the other children. It's true they are mostly raised with different standards. It makes it so much more important to fortify our children in the home because whether or not our children are introduced to their peers now or when they are in college they will have to have a strong foundation. But I'll say it again, I really think it is a personal choice and should be based upon the needs of the child.
I love homeschooling! When I started homeschooling I had a hundred reasons, and now that I've been at it for a few years I've got a hundred different reasons to keep going.
My family is closer. The kids are able to learn at their own pace and move on once they've mastered a concept. They have a richer social life (gasp!). They have more time to focus on their talents and interests. I'm more patient. The kids love learning. They get along with people of all ages. They're taking classes like Drama, Engineering and Forensic Science at our co-op. They're awesome readers. They read their scriptures every day before school. They don't have to deal with the crap that goes on at school. We can go on vacation whenever we want. The kids do their best on their assignments instead of just trying to get the worksheet done. They're creative and innovative. They don't have to spend all day bogged down with lessons and then come home to homework. My kids are best friends.
Anyway, those are just some of the reasons your friends are abandoning underfunded, underperforming public schools. I always said I'd send my kids back once I got out of the Syracuse school district, but there are just too many good reason to keep going. I'm moving into a good school district next year and I STILL plan on homeschooling.
I gotta say-we were sent into the world to make a difference, not to hide from people who are different from us and live in our own little safe bubble. That sounds kinda harsh, but it's true. Those comments (from chapfan)sound like what the general authorities have talked about (living in Utah where it happens a lot) of it not being Christian to not want/let your kids around others with different religions or values. You can be in the world but not of the world. Heavenly Father didn't keep us with him even though it would be spiritually safer. He sent us away to learn; yet we have communication with Him as much as we want, to help us. I want my kids to go to school where they can learn not only the academics, but to socialize and love all kinds of people. You socialize differently with family than with others. If strong, eduacted and good families don't send their kids to school to be of good influence, it will only make things worse. As a teacher, I counted so much on my "good kids" to help my kids who came from rough or bad homes, to learn how to behave well and learn how to be a good student and friend. My kids with high morals helped teach those who didn't learn those things at home. They were good examples. I have so many stories of kids in my classroom who came into the year swaring, picking fights, not wanting to learn, etc...that changed throughout the year to be such good, strong, loving kids. I don't think I would've been able to do that without their peers having a positive influence on them. It also strengthened the good kids, having these experiences. They became more confident and became leaders and did better in school seeing the difference that they made. Schools need good kids. They make the incalcuable positive differences in others, and inevitably in themselves..
I want to have enough faith in my children that I'm not afraid to send them to be leaders among their friends in doing what's right. Jason and I will strengthen them while they're home with us, and add to what they learn at school with helping them with hw and taking them places where they can learn more. My mom took us to the library, and science museums and the beach and so many places where we enjoyed time together and learned.
My husband and I are both teachers-but now I'm a 'stay at home mom.' School is a good place for kids to learn (more than just academics.) I know that some kids might do better at home, but not all. Most of my friends that were home-schooled were very socially awkard and didn't really know how to interact with kids their own age. (for ex. Aaron) They were good with adults, and kids younger or older than them somewhat. That makes sense though seeing as they spend their tiem with their parents, and siblings, which are older or younger. I just think that they are going to learn reading, math, science, etc...either way. There are so many more benefits though in other aspects of life for more than just them, that they go to classes with other kids their own age. Funny story-I have a friend from h.s. that didn't start going to public school until she was a freshman. She was homeschooled and begger her parents to let her go to school with other kids. They finally conceded. She was seriously awkward with others though, and took her a couple years to learn how to make friends teh 'teenage way' meaning-not like an adult would. We didn't actually become friends until my junior year. Ok, I could go on and on. So I'll stop.
Adria, I used to agree with you. When I was growing up, my family was close friends with another family who homeschooled. The kids got along great within their own family and with us, but they were socially awkward in other situations. I thought homeschooling was ridiculous and a great way to mess up perfectly normal children and I never would have thought that I would do it in my own family. I went to public school and like Robyn said, I turned out just fine.
Years later, when I sent my oldest son to kindergarten, I saw what school can do to an inquisitive, creative child who doesn't learn in a "sit down and do your work" environment. The joy of learning was sucked right out of him. When I volunteered in his classroom, I would see him totally zoned out. Homework 4 days/week was just more drudgery and left little time for play or relaxation. It only took him a few weeks to learn that you don't do schoolwork to do your best and be as creative as you can, you do it just to finish it and get a smiley face on the top of the paper. For example, his spelling sentences went from clever and funny to: I like cats. I like shoes. He started school already reading Dr. Seuss type books, but after a year of kindergarten he was worse off because he learned nothing new and he had forgotten some of what he learned at home. (I felt like I couldn't keep teaching him at home because he was already bogged down at school all day). My son, like most five year old boys couldn't sit and pay attention to a boring old lady for six hours a day. He needed to be active.
As my second son approached school age, his preschool teachers told me he tested at a 2nd grade reading and spelling level, he had the vocab of an 11 year old, and math skills at the 1st grade level. Plus he was so cleverly resourceful and inventive, I couldn't bear to have him ruined by public school. So I pulled my older son out of school in the middle of first grade to do the homeschool experiment.
I agree, it is beneficial to society for people like us to contribute to the public school system, but I refuse do it at the expense of my children's education and well being. There is much more to nurturing a child's mind than teaching reading, writing and arithmetic.
I already listed the reasons why we love homeschooling, but I need to point out one huge misconception that most people have. Homeschooled kids these days are not socially isolated! Yes, people who were homeschooled when we were kids were awkward. They interacted with their parents and a few friends and not too many others. Now that homeschooling is more mainstream, and not just practiced by people who want to keep their kids away from the world, there are all kids of social groups for them. I mentioned in my previous comment that my kids had richer social lives. It's so true! Three days a week, we get together with other homeschooled kids for classes, gym, park days, and free play. In addition to that, we've got the neighborhood kids that come over most afternoons and church on Sunday. My kids have MORE social interaction with kids their own age than the kids that go to school.
Get to know a modern homeschooling family. You might see these old prejudices and misconceptions melting away. I think when your baby reaches school age, you'll be more able to see why someone would make that choice for their own family.
Hmm, I have thought a lot about this, too. And it's really common with my friends, too. I agree that each parent has to choose what is best for their child. So some may thrive in Homeschool, where others will thrive in Public, Private, or Charter. So figuring out what works for each child is what is important. I think and one reason why we settled in Utah is because we want to send our kids to Public schools, so they can be an influence for good, while also having friends at church nearby to keep them strong when they struggle. Oh, and AJ, that comment about Utah happens everywhere in Mormon culture, if you're looking for it. I think one of the ways to succeed is to be challenged and overcome challenges, which gives us confidence to succeed again. So keeping my kids sheltered is not the solution I am looking for. But I think nowadays whatever we can do to help our children is ours to decide with the Lord's help. This topic is so multifaceted just because it plays so much into our own upbringing and our current teaching/parenting philosophies. It's so interesting to hear peoples thoughts!
I have to agree with Adria here. While I do see how homeschooling has changed over the years to encompass more social interaction I am still uncomfortable with the idea that we need to shelter our children away from influences they may encounter in the world. I hear Julia's concerns too; however, there does come a time when our children have to learn that it's not all about them. Parents have become so concerned with protecting their children's "self-esteem" and "feelings" and keeping them from anything that makes them uncomfortable that I fear we are doing them a great disservice. The "everyone gets a trophy" mentality is not going to bode well for this rising generation. I think the reason we, who attended public school, turned out fine is because our PARENTS had expectations of us. I was never allowed to say I was bored at school. My parents always told me my job was not to be bored at school but to learn and find a way to learn from any teacher I had. My parents expected me to do well and because I respected them I did well. I met their expectations because they had them for me. My fear is that we could cripple our children if we are not careful to give them the tools they need to withstand Satan's influences and one of those tools is to allow them some opposition in their lives. They have to be exposed to challenges, temptations and trials if they are to learn to overcome them. This is where parenting gets hard - we have to be consistent and vigilant - we have to teach our children and give them the tools they need and then we have to let them use them as they come across the unpleasant things in the world. As for not having enough time together as families - that's our fault too - our children don't need to be in dance lessons, swimming, scouts, musicals, sports, band, etc. all at once. John and I limited our kids to one extra curricular activity per semester in school in addition to participation in YM/YW which was a nonnegotiable and expected part of their lives. That way we made sure we had plenty of family time to teach them what they needed to learn from us. Fortunately for us we have access to our Heavenly Father and His Spirit that helps us navigate our active parenting years so that we can make the right decisions regrding those precious spirits He sends to us to nuture.
Teaching on a one to one basis is completely differnt from teaching a classroom of 26-30 students. Obviously private instruction can be tailored more closely to a single individual. However, not everyone needs that much fodused attention attention in order to learn, and not all parents feel confident that they can do a better job of teaching their children academic subjects.
To summarily dismiss a public education as inferior to home education is a slap in the face to those who have spent many years pursuing a higher education in order to becaome a professional teacher.
Some of the people I admire most are teachers who consider their profession a calling. They take on the education of all of their students, regardlass of ability, race, economic class, or upbringing. In many cases,
they "make bricks without straw."
My best friend Annie has a bachelors degree in Biology, an MBA, and a masters degree in science education. She teaches AP Chemistry and IB Chemisstry at Corcoran High Schoool. She spends nearly ten hours each weekday at school, and goes in on Saturdays to review classes and set up labs for the following week. She is a dedicated teacher who lives and breathes teaching. In addition to classroom instruction, she volunteers for extra curicular activies that enrich the students school experience.
I hope that someday those who decide to educate their children within the confines of their home no longer feel the need to denigrate the public school system in order to justify their decision to opt out of it.
Just because public school is not good fit for a certain child does not mean that it is inherently evil ot inferior. It is differnt.
How you choose to educate yur own children is a private matter. You do not have to give a public reason for your decision, and do not need to make the alternative "bad" in order for your choice to be "good."
As Rodney King pleaded so many years ago, "Can't we just all get along?"
Ok-so Jason just made me laugh out loud. I was reading to him my mom's comments, and when I got to the part about 'not everyone needs that much focused attention in order to learn,' he said, 'Yah, special ed. kids.' He would know. He has had 16 special ed. kids in the past 3 years of teaching.
I have had special ed. kids as well and it is true-they can't handle learning with other kids. They need individual or small group learning. While they are in your classroom, you have to make specific accomodations for them as well.
Ok, so lest you misunderstand, I'm not 'laughing' at special ed. kids. That would be rude. I was just laughing at the thought of people feeling like home-schooling their child is superior to their prior education at a public school, when really, their child just might be an undiagnosed special ed. kid. Just my sense of humor. Sorry to offend.
PS-gifted is also 'technically' a form of special ed. That's why students who qualify as 'gifted' go to a gifted class.
So, okay, I am THAT Annie, and I may rile up some parents out there, especially because I don't have children of my own. But from where I sit, it goes like this: parents (families) who are REALLY DOING the family part in raising children are the ones who send me sons and daughters for whom I can really do MY job, which is to teach them how to navigate from protected safe-harbor to the wild blue yonder. Yeah, and I teach them some chemistry too. (But my motto there is Carl Sagan's: "Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge.") If every parent truly invested in their children, insisted on (and themselves practiced) discipline, responsibility, self-control, honesty, patience, perseverance, respect, and diligence... there would be a whole lot fewer kids being home-schooled. When parents do THEIR job well, I can do MY job well, and the result is young citizens ready to take take their places in society. I fully realize I am preaching to the choir in this audience. But I have been dying to observe this out loud to SOMEbody, because, frankly, I'm not so sure that parents are best equipped to do both our jobs well, and I FREELY admit, trying to teach AND parent these kids is killing me... Not looking for sympathy or kudos either-- I just don't have it in me to back away from the job, and that's the way it is. So, I will be in my classroom tomorrow (Saturday) at 8 a.m., and won't come home til the work is done...
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